Saturday, December 29, 2012

Still not here....

Well it's official again, I am not so great at this blogging thing. I love reading blogs where they post weekly little tidbits into the lives of the family and ideas and creations they have done. Me I am too busy living to write about it. I never was good at keeping a diary I have quite a few with 2-3 entries then a few months happened without and then 2-3 more entries then another few months or a year or more and then maybe one final entry. I have just never been that person to write things down. I want to be that person.
I want to be allot of people I am not. I want to be the homemaker with a perfect home anyone could visit at anytime with a home made snack ready with the floor vacuumed and the toilet paper full. I want to be the mom whose child(ren) always do amazing projects, science, art whatever just fun amazing projects. I want to the the homeschooling parent whose child does their lessons on their own because they are that smart and can learn on their own (with some parent teaching but mostly self taught). I want to be the family who has it all together, the parents are in love and the children behave with a look. Then again do I really want to be fictional?
I have done some looking at who I am this month. This past month I have had the opportunity to see who I am as an adult. I am the volunteer at church not afraid to do a job that is familiar, but uncomfortable. I am the daughter who climbs in the garage storage to find the Christmas stockings. I am the sister who when you break your foot becomes your taxi no matter what that does to her schedule. I am the granddaughter who decorates your house for Christmas, come over on the 22nd to set the table and make sure the dishes we need are easily available. On Christmas day I am Santa, I am the decision maker, I am the dishwasher, I am the cook, I am the one people ask for an answer. After Christmas I again am the granddaughter who makes sure everything is cleaned up and put the decorations away. I am the mom who likes to take her daughter places. I am the friend who makes sure when I am in the area I try and see you. I am me.
My house is not clean, my family is not perfect, my life is a mess at times, but I am me. I like that I am the one to call when you need something done. However I also need to prioritize and limit my time away from my immediate family.
Next month my husband comes first, I will ask if he thinks I should or should not do something for someone in my family.  I will look to see what doing something means to our school schedule. I will again be the parent/teacher I need to be for my daughter. One lesson we will be learning together is how to prioritize and make time for our necessities over others. It might mean school on the road, or saying no to something important but not more important than school. We will see who I will be next month...

Quiver full...

I wrote this post awhile ago.  I didn't publish it for various reasons one being I felt petty. However the more events that happen in my life the more this issue of being a mom of one comes up. As my daughter gets older it gets harder to think about starting over, but I also would be so happy to have more so with that intro here is an old post... 
It's no secret I love kids. I love playing with them, teaching them and generally being around them. My husband is okay with them. Before we had Joy if anyone asked how many kids we wanted I would tell them I want no less than 2 and my husband wants no more than 2. So sounded like 2 was the answer.
When we started "trying" in 2004 after my graduation it was less trying than just not preventing. Then in September 2005 we learned we were pregnant only to learn less than a week later we had a miscarriage. After that we "tried" and got pregnant fairly quickly. Joy was born in September 2006.
I knew I wanted an age difference of about 3 years. So we waited the 3 years to start "trying" again. Again it was less trying than just letting things happen and not preventing. I suspected I was pregnant in August 2009, but also knew within a couple days I was having another miscarriage.
I was certain after the second miscarriage that it should happen like before we would soon start trying and have our 2nd child 9 months later. God had a different plan.
Why am I sharing this now, well it is an odd story, but something I want to share. I am still wanting another child. We are still not preventing. However, we don't have our second child. I am the only one from my mom group in Clear Lake with only one child. My homeschool co-op has one other family that I know of that has only one child, but they are currently working on adopting more.
The real trigger is today is a friend's daughter's 2nd birthday.  What does this have to do with me? It was a girl's night out and this friend, another mom and myself were talking, and this friend (who at the time was the one of two other moms in our group with only one child) stated she wasn't sure what she would do if she did not get pregnant in 2-3 months like they did with their first child. So I knew she was trying and had the thought in my head, how nice it would be to share my pregnancy and have kids close in age with her. Fast forward 2 years and nine months... She has a daughter who turned 2 today. I still have one child.
Jealousy stinks. I have to be honest I am jealous. I am jealous of everyone with more than one child. I am even jealous of those with one child who are happy with the one. I want to be happy with one. I love my one, and I am happy with her, I just feel I would be happier with more.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Not so good at this...

If you haven't noticed I am not so good at this. It's something I want to do and want to be good at, but in reality it just isn't a priority for me to blog.
That being said I do want to have a record of things in my life and this seems like a good medium. The downfall is it's a public medium so as many will tell you don't publish anything private. So that is where I am today in this in between of wanting to share something happening in my life and keeping it a private matter. It's not something that is solely about me (that I have no problem publishing). It is about someone I love. I want to tell the world what is going on so that I could possibly get some help or support. Then I think I don't want this person to be embarrassed over my sharing her information.
That is where I am today. I can't say more, but I want to shout it out so I can have support! Just pray this will all turn out in a way that I can deal with.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dairy Free....

I have been attempting a dairy free diet since September last year. I have my ups and downs with actually being able to do it, but it has made a significant difference in my original reason to go dairy free. My conclusion is I have a dairy allergy. Why because one of my symptoms is not listed on the intolerance symptoms. Simple right? Anyway that is not what this is about.
This is about your reaction. If I tell someone that I am dairy free, the first question is why. My answer is I think I am allergic (if I know you) or I am allergic (if I don't). Some leave it at that and some say why do you think you are allergic, and since I am not one that really like "bathroom" talk I just say it messes me up. Most are satisfied with this answer and still others press. I go ahead and tell them the problem if they press and I know them well enough.
The next concern is one of two choices. The person will then ask if I am taking calcium, or they will be concerned with making sure I can still have treats like ice cream.
Those that are concerned with my calcium are quick to tell me about viactive or other calcium supplements. I smile and nod, and know I should have been taking calcium for years I have never liked drinking a glass of milk. Honestly it will take a doctor to get me to take calcium supplements. I am sure to get extra calcium in anything where that is an option, and I know I probably need it, just haven't gone there yet.
The people who I enjoy the most are those that are so concerned with my ice cream and treats consumption. They are sure to tell me about various non-dairy ice creams. I smile look at them and say really it's a good thing I can't have ice cream makes the diet easier! You see I am also on a weight loss journey.
So if you see me and we happen to be on the subject of my diet, please know I have my reasons (of which I don't like sharing), I will be fine without ice cream, and I am waiting for the doctor to prescribe supplements. Thank you!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Church Hunting...

We moved in early November to a new side of town. It's far enough that places you want to attend on a regular basis must change. This includes church.
I have never been one who likes church hunting. It's hard, and it takes a long time. Add in the fact that we moved right before the holiday season, and that makes things even more difficult. One of my main requirements for a church is that the preacher preach from the Bible EVERY Sunday. That is hard to determine or know about a pastor when it's Christmas, if they aren't preaching from the Bible at Christmas then I am probably not in a church.
The holidays also make it hard because people vacation and people are visiting from out of town, so you don't know if the group you visited always has that dynamic or if it's a little different from someone who is in town or out of town that week.
So we have visited 3 churches in this area. The first is the closest in proximity to our apartment, we could walk if we wanted to. It's probably the most "hip" of the churches we have visited. The music is great. The preaching is good. The reason this isn't the church for us is that out of four visits two sermons were about sexual immorality. Not that I don't think this is an okay topic, and the pastor had great things to say, but one of those was on Christmas Eve?!? Also the pastor is whisked away or disappears during his prayer at the end of the sermon leaving the sanctuary for unknown places. He leaves the "Jones Road" campus pastor to finish up and actually be a pastor and not just a speaker. Also they pray the sinners prayer each week and then just ask you to go see someone in the hallway if you prayed the prayer, no actual invitation. These are all little things, but they are also odd to me.
Church number 2 is a church that I already know two families at from our homeschool group. My issues with this church are smaller. The first being they are currently without a pastor, not that a pastor makes a church, but he can make a difference in a church. The other issue is more that my husband doesn't love this church. I could probably settle here if he felt comfortable.
Church 3 we visited once last week. The church is huge, they only have one worship service on Sunday morning (if you don't count the one for those who work in childcare etc while the service is happening), but it is also the largest of the actual church buildings. This church had a million dollar surplus in their budget last year. They put it towards paying off the buildings they built recently. My husband made the comment that he could not see a younger grouping of adults in the whole church it was a sea of blue hairs. He was also overwhelmed by the size.
So this is where we stand with our church hunt. We are all tired of it, but feel no closer to a home than when we started.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Snacks and appetizers for 3

One of my favorite blog reads is when the 4 Moms and 35 kids team up and I get 4 opinions on one subject. The problem is they have 35 kids between 4 moms. I have one. So sometimes the advice is great for me, what applies for a crown should apply to one on occasion. Other times I enjoy the read and go on. Today they are doing a linky which means I get to participate. So to follow their rules I am linking to their site(s).
Raising Olives is talking about hot wings
Smockity is talking popcorn
Life in a shoe is talking Bacon wrapped jalapenos which she says aren't too spicy, but I would challenge that since I have 0 spice tolerance!
The Common Room has some uncommon Nachos

I would like to say I have some great snack ideas, but really we are bad eaters and snacks are the easy go to things in the pantry or fridge that have no purpose in cooking. This includes chips, cheese balls, yogurt, and a random assortment of bagged items. Currently in the pantry are some pretzel shaped graham crackers, tortilla chips, fruit chews, dried cranberries and who knows what that has been forgotten way too long. In the fridge is my daughter's yogurt enough juice to float a cruise ship, and various kinds of individual cheese snacks.

The new dilema in snacking at our house is my discovery of my body's dislike of dairy. So my favorite lower fat go to snacks are out. The replacement has been fruit! I am in the middle of a weight loss journey and this is my new love. An apple a day or every 2-3 days is helping me stay away from the high fat snacks. In addition we got a popcorn popper from my sister for Christmas. It's still a learning curve on how to get the flavor to the popcorn, but so far I am enjoying what I create when it is not burnt.

So a recipe for a snack? Go to the store find one thing for each family member that requires no prep or work on your part put it in the pantry and call it snack food. I understand for the large families might have to limit the choices to 5 or less. I do limit the large open bags to 2 in our family. It's what we do, how about you? What are your favorite snack foods? 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Joy started gymnastics!! Finally she is enrolled in a class! I have wanted this for her since she turned 3, which happened about the time Rob got a 10% pay cut at his old job. It is one of those things that I wanted for her. I want her to explore different options in life, like gymnastics and dance, maybe even a sport or two. Extracurricular classes are one of those things that I wanted as a child, and something I want for my child.
I want my child to have opportunities in life. I want her to be smarter than me, and I want her to be able to do what she wants and not be held back because she didn't get something in her education. This to me includes gymnastics/dance/sports. She loved her first class, I can't wait to take her to the second one!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Trying again?

If you didn't know I started a second blog about our homeschooling adventure. It's at Homeschooling1 hop on over if you are interested in that adventure.
I can't say I am great at blogging anywhere, but I am working on all the things in my life I feel like I don't do well. This includes blogging. It's something I like, it's something I admire when others do it well, and it's something I would like to say I do. So I am starting over (again). I don't know what this will mean. I don't have a vision for this blog, it's more of our family life share blog so here it is back up and running. I am sure you are all dying to see pictures of Joy so here you go her 5 year pictures by an amazing photographer Rosie. She is in the League City area, but her prices are great and she is a military wife and I like to support our military however I can.

 Above is the photo that is now a canvas and hangs above the piano! I love it, it's a natural smile with a carefree fun pose. Below is my favorite "Mickey" picture this year. If you don't know we take a picture with big Mickey each year as a record of Joy's growth through the years.

We will see if the blog continues or dies out again next week!