Yesterday on facebook I posted "Overwhelmed with the possibilities in my life right now. Some good some scary, all potential for growth!" I think this sums up my life at this point. It seems like I have opportunities where I can choose to go down different paths and some I don't want to go down, but I travel as a sense of duty to family. Others I am excited about and want to travel, but also think it might be best to wait until the other paths show where they are going.
In an effort to not say too much, but also not be too cryptic here's a little of what's going on....
My family member is having some memory issues and I have become the point person in this process of figuring out what is going on, is it strokes, is it Alzheimer's, is it reversible, is it permanent, is it ongoing, is it progressive.... So many questions and so many doctors needed to help understand this. Oh and the family member does not see the need for alarm that the family or the doctors see.
My husband's family member's spouse is quite ill, we got a call this week he has lost his color. This might not seem like a big deal maybe a few days off to go to a funeral, but this spouse is the primary caretaker of one who has memory issues from a previous cancer. It doesn't help they are far from any family because the spouse has pushed everyone away. When the spouse passes away it will be a big mess of dealing with many things of the family member's health and getting her to a better location, probably without her wanting to move. Last time we visited because the spouse was going to die it was not a happy ending.
In addition to the above I feel the need to care for others who are in my family when they have problems. My husband (wisely) says I do too much for them, but that's who I am the nurturer and caretaker. I do what I would want done for me.
The other opportunity which I am excited about is I belong to a national co-op. This year I have tutored and I love it. I had thought last year that this next year I might take on a bigger role and try and direct at a campus. However, with the family stuff looming I fear taking on too much, but I also really want to do this.
I love volunteering with the church on a regular basis. I have in the past done a little of everything, and since moving and getting to know our new church I am working on trying to find my volunteer positions that work for both me and the church. I had tried teaching at a special program on Wednesday nights, but the timing was different than the regular kids programs and became too much. In addition our co-op meets on Thursdays so Wednesday prepping for church and school was a little much. I am helping with an upcoming special event, and have been asked to help with greeting in the children's area on Sunday mornings. I like the idea of that as it takes no prep! I will check it out this Sunday and see if it works.
Is that enough? I might have said too much in some places, but I need to share with people and bounce ideas and lament happenings. I am woman! I also like things with clear direction and the top two family situations are definitely without clear direction and I can't predict what will or won't happen next week. Prayer is the answer for now. I pray God will lead me in the right direction and I won't take on things that are not for me at this time.